SUN 31 May 2009 14:33 HRS

ANTI-SHIP WARFARE SPECIALIST FORCED TO REMOVE FREAK FLAG FROM SONAR STATION

There are reports today that a US Navy crewmember participating in the troubled artificial reef program has been disciplined for flying a 'freak flag' while at sea.

The anti-ship warfare specialist was told to take down the flag, and will be made to provide a full accounting to the Captain for his actions. 

The incident will likely result in a good 'dressing down' by the Captain, but alone with the Captain in his quarters, as opposed to a full dressing down in front of the whole crew, which is considered more serious. 

Meanwhile, a spokesperson at the US Chief of Naval Operations, Submarine Warfare Division said today that the Navy brass is puzzled by the reaction to the latest reef building exercises in the Korean peninsula region.

"We do these kinds of reef building exercises using attack submarines in littoral regions all over the world, but never before with this kind of public scrutiny and actual opposition. Environmentalism is one of the core values of the Navy and we see it as our duty to deploy these attack submarine shaped reefs wherever they are needed in the world," she added.

The attack submarine shaped reefs have drawn criticism from North Korea and from Republicans and Democrats alike at home, where some politicians say the nuclear powered artificial reefs represent a cold war mentality era of environmentalism, and are an expensive anachronism where each one actually dwarfs the nuclear capability of North Korea dozens of times over.

The attack submarine shaped artificial reefs currently deployed in the North Korean peninsula region maintained radio silence for the third straight day today.

 

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SAT 30 May 2009 16:33 HRS

US NAVY ARTIFICIAL REEF PROJECT BOGS DOWN IN TENSE UN STANDOFF

 North Korea today challenged the US Navy to find any wildlife in the Sea of Japan or the Yellow Sea. 

According to the North Korean news agency, "there is no wildlife in those areas.  How can they be protecting wildlife by building artificial reefs when there is no wildlife there?"

But US Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton shot back by saying that the United States reserved the right to deploy artificial reefs wherever it saw fit in the defence of the American homeland and the American way of life.

"North Korea must desist in its weapons of mass destruction program," Mrs Rodham Clinton added.

The attack submarine shaped reefs were last seen being sunk near some key North Korean coastal military installations, and are supposed to provide habitat for endangered wildlife in the area.

 

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FRI 29 May 2009 19:33 HRS

NORTH KOREA FIRES ANOTHER SHORT RANGE MISSILE TECHNICIAN

In a fit of pique, North Korea today fired another short range missile technician.

The unidentified technician was called into the Group Leader's office, and was let go in the presence of a Party member.

The North Korean News Agency reported that the success of recent missile tests had been caused by incompetence and gross negligence at the highest levels. Despite this however, the decision was made to let the missile tech go.

Meanwhile, the US Chief of Naval Operations declined to provide exact details of the specific locations of any of the artificial reefs it deployed yesterday.

Sources in the Navy say that revealing the locations of the submarine shaped reefs would expose American lives to undue danger.

The White House maintained an erie radio silence today.

 

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WED 27 May 2009 10:45 HRS

As part of an ongoing effort to protect life on the sea floor, several US Navy Warships were sunk today off the coasts of North Korea.

The US Chief of Naval Operations, Submarine Warfare division said that as part of its committment to wildlife preservation and conservation, the US Armed Forces had sunk several of its ballistic missile submarines in the Yellow Sea just off the continental shelf, and that several of its attack submarines were positioned and sunk somewhere in the Yellow Sea.

It is expected that the submarine shaped reefs will provide shelter and habitat for any remaining wildlife in the area.

The operation was supported by most of the US Pacific Fleet, which is currently deployed in two cadres in the Sea of Japan and the Yellow Sea, at missile standoff range from the North Korean mainland.

For its part, the North Korean junta has condemned the reef building exercise, saying that the artificial reefs are a naked provocation by the west, and a justification for its continued development of a nuclear deterrent program. 

No word yet on why the US Navy's artificial reefs are actually fully manned and armed with nuclear tipped missiles.